By Alice Carter, California State Director for the Cthulhu Campaign
Today supporters of Bernie Sanders were dealt bitter defeat as their leader endorsed Hillary Clinton, leaving millions in despair and without a candidate to vote for.
While we appreciate the sweet scent of the decay of hope, let us offer another avenue for political redress.
For over fifty years, America has wrestled with the idea of the lesser evil; The theory that your only leadership options are disgusting and slightly-less-disgusting.
As Hunter S. Thompson cautioned, “There’s a terrible danger in voting for the lesser of two evils because the parties can set it up that way.”
And here we are: the certainty of Clinton II and her homunculus Trump on the ballot.
Yet there is a second terrible danger. A candidate Democrats and Republicans have ignored for decades: The Dread Lord Cthulhu. A god from beyond time and space who dwells in sunken R’lyeh who waits for the right time to emerge.
Every four years, through his cults, He has generously given us the opportunity to not vote for the lesser evil. Why should citizens of the United States of America continually settle for the presumably least-worst choice time and again? Do they not deserve more?
If you must vote for “evil,” vote for the best evil. The Greatest Evil.
To Cthulhu it is not another throwaway campaign slogan. It is a sacred pact.
When Americans release themselves from the shackles of their failed political system, He will answer.
There can be no greater glory for humanity than to end at the tentacle and claw of a vastly superior being.
The stars are nearing alignment; the time is right. From the criminal Clintons to the nonsense ramblings of Trump, everyone can see the time is now.
With your help and support, Cthulhu will rise to end the corrupt political system. He will rend reality, expose the wide uncaring universe to everyone and End History.