You won’t want to miss Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton make asses of themselves.

By Brandy C. Newbold, Cthulhu for America, East Coast Communications Director

The first presidential debate of the general election is almost here. As usual, the Democrats and Republicans are afraid of challengers to the establishment duopoly and have excluded Cthulhu from the event. After months of what many generously call “campaigning,” good friends Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump will finally face off in one of the worst infomercials ever produced.

If you’re interested in ending America’s (and humanity’s) future, you won’t want to miss this. Unless you have dishes to wash, boils to lance, or a baby to sacrifice.

But we know you’re going to watch this dumpster fire – if only to see Hillary have another “medical event,” Trump saying “fuck” on live TV – or to consume massive amounts of alcohol.

Just because Cthulhu has been shut out doesn’t mean his influence will not be felt. Before the debates, get up to speed on what’s been going on with Cthulhu over the past few months, and over the course of his long career. Check out these four articles before debate night:

How can I watch the debate?

The debates will air live on ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, PBS, CNN, MSNBC, C-Span, Fox News, and more. There will also be live streams available— How to watch (Wired) – How to watch (Recode).

And Cthulhu might have a thing or two to say about it on Twitter.