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Donate Someone to Cthulhu

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For millennia we’ve seen what is possible when cultists do what they do best: persist in the face of incredible bigotry to form a permanent American union of universal equality. While other candidates promise to slow the eternal tide of misery, we are the tsunami. Where other campaigns goldbrick at posh narcissistic events, we tirelessly sacrifice in the nation’s lonely places.

After purchase, your sacrifice’s name will be added below for all to behold. We will also announce our new sacrifice to the world on our social media accounts.

Contributions or gifts to Cthulhu for America are not tax deductible as charitable contributions or as business deductions.

SKU: 1215999001 Category:

Sacrifices

Arkansas

Josh Deaver (Conway)

California

Bryan Sanders (Cedar Grove)

Florida

Brett S. Stokes (Bonita Springs)

Indiana

Gladys Guest (Indianapolis)
William Scott Murray (West Lafayette)

Indiana

Bert Green (Chicago)

Louisiana

T. Gregory Schafer (New Orleans)

Maryland

Julio Bernier (Baltimore)

Massachusetts

Eric Lico (Manchester-by-the-Sea)

Missouri

Shelly O’Neill (St Louis)

New Jersey

Ellie Culin (Madison)

New York

Howie Livingston (Endicott)
Donald Trump (NYC)

North Carolina

Steve Rich (Durham)
Amy Sturgis (Granite Falls)

Pennsylvania

Samuel Lyons (Clarion)
Andrew T. Burkot (Easton)

Texas

Gary “Guru” Wimmer (Austin)
@BearGpaul (San Antonio)
R. Jeff Colquitt (Dallas)

Virginia

Clark McCray (Chesapeake)

United Kingdom

Arthur Rausberg (London)