Cthulhu Abandons America, Chooses China

China’s ruler for life, President Xi Jinping, now has a rival for control of the world’s next superpower. Cthulhu’s cult announced today that their Dread Lord no longer favored the floundering American republic and was looking to the future.

Clinton book denounces Cthulhu

A new leak from Clinton’s upcoming revenge novel “What Happened?” details how third party candidate Cthulhu contributed to her electoral loss last year.

Inside Doomsday

An exclusive inside look at the Cthulhu campaign on Election Day. Or, as they call it, Summoning Day.

EXCLUSIVE: Cthulhu versus… Satan?

Four days to the election and the collective human hive is abuzz with the revelation of Clinton campaign’s connection to satanic rituals. Does this hurt Cthulhu’s chances?

We stand with Cthulhu

That we endorse Cthulhu for president should come as no surprise. There really is no other choice.

It’s an easy call: Cthulhu for president

With our nation facing political rot on the inside and barbarians at the gates, now is no time for sophistry. It is time for America to acknowledge this dead end path and place the noose squarely around her neck.

Against Hillary Trump

For the first time since The Pacific’s founding, the editors endorse a candidate for president. The case for Cthulhu.

Goodbye SMOD

While the Wikileaks “October Surprise”never materialized last night, this morning Cthulhu delivered a surprise of his own.

How do you Cthulhu?

Share with us your boldest, most daring videos or selfies promoting Cthulhu for President with hashtag #ReadyForCthulhu for a chance to win an exclusive All-Star Volunteer shirt every week until the election.

Volunteer for Cthulhu

Let’s make this race too scary, too consequential and too close for people to think clearly and then use their confusion to our electoral advantage.

Meteor of Doom rejects Cthulhu ticket offer

Cthulhu’s social media account was sabotaged by Ghroth the Harbinger (known also as the Giant Meteor or Sweet Meteor of Death) today when an endorsement quickly turned into insult.

Just End It Already

Now begins the terrible season of politics, made rough with the discontent of the masses as we slide headlong into the intestinal maze of the American body politic.

Dark Deeds at the DNC?

The Democratic National Committee was into more than election fraud and promoting Hillary Clinton as released DNC emails shows.

Cthulhu in secret NASA talks?

Presidential candidate Cthulhu and his entourage arrived early at the Johnson Space Center in Texas for an unscheduled and secretive meeting.

Cthulhu takes cool reception at Bilderberg in stride

The secrecy of the meeting of approximately 160 of the most powerful men in the western world always leads to flights of conspiratorial fancy. However it’s no theory that the Cthulhu campaign made their case to back him over Hillary Clinton to the world’s elite.

Kissing(er) Cthulhu

It has come to our attention that MIT student James Cullen and his associate Terry White are trying to scandalize our campaign by falsely associating us with their “disappearances.”

I Have a Dream

Coloration of the flesh is the least of your worries; you are frail, short-lived creatures. And so I have come here today to show you the remedy for this embarrassing condition.

The Republican Case for Cthulhu

While Republicans may initially recoil at the thought of an ancient deity with no Republican party credentials ruling the United States, they should find the certainty of realizing three major goals appealing.

Final All-Star Cultist Week

The Cthulhu for America team closes our month-long celebration of our global network of dedicated cultists ready to do what needs be done to open the gates.

EXCLUSIVE: Bernie Sanders is a Wizard

Presidential candidate Cthulhu finally breaks his silence on Bernie Sanders. Cthulhu and campaign manager Eminence Waite gave the Kingsport Star Herald an exclusive interview the day of the first Democratic debate.

October is All-Star Cultist Month

The Cthulhu for America team is celebrating our core cultist constituency throughout this sacred month. Cultist of the Week @nuageme who branded his flesh with my great visage. The week we honored Grigory "The Unmentionable" Rasputin All-Star Cultist Month began with...

Voting for the Best Evil

Earlier this year columnists Jonah Goldberg and Kevin Williamson engaged in a small debate on who would be a better presidential candidate, the Mighty Cthulhu or a space rock. While we applaud Mr. Williamson’s clarity of thought, we need to respond to the outrageous claims of Jonah Goldberg.

Dagon In Deep; Out as Veep

Dagon surfaced last week intent on joining Cthulhu’s presidential efforts. Within hours he was escorted out of Cthulhu’s campaign HQ by Kingsport SWAT.

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