KINGSPORT STAR HERALD – August 19, 2016

NEW YORK CITY – The follow up to the Clinton campaign’s successful #NakedTrump stunt, #NakedCthulhu, has left the artist in need of professional care.

The Kingsport Star Herald has learned that Clinton SuperPAC Correct the Record hired, via intermediary artist collective INDECLINE, another New York artist to create a series of statues targeting Cthulhu.

Titled “The Least Evil of All,” the statue was being designed to humiliate Cthulhu in the same manner as Trump. While the genitalia of the Great Old One is unknown to mortal eyes, the artwork focused on depicting Cthulhu as a harmless, bumbling idiot.

The artist, Demi “Potatoe” Luciterrez, was discovered in her apartment, frozen in place staring at a patch of empty sky, by her landlord. Plans for the production were found scattered about her studio. Investigators also discovered a printout of talking points and visual direction from a bdrock2315@aol.com.

“In a historical context, this kind of schoolyard invective is not new. But the candidates this year are certainly giving the election of 1828 a beating for dirtiest campaign ever,” said Dr. Emma Erlich, Professor of American History at Miskatonic State University.

The election of 1828 of John Adams versus Andrew Jackson was full of accusations of murder, Russian spies, pimping, adultery, uncontrollable temper, gambling, whores, media control and racism.

The Cthulhu campaign is not surprised in the least. “As the election heads into the last 80 days we expect the Clinton campaign to pull even more dirty tricks,” said Samir al-Azrad, Cthulhu’s press secretary.

“They’re flush with cash to the point they are spending wildly on projects that show they are desperate to get people to ‘love’ her as the lesser evil. At the same time, she is pushing the greater evil envelope to knock our campaign out of the race. She can’t have both.”

The Clinton campaign did not reply to our requests for comment before press time.

You can support Demi’s recovery through her GoFundMe page.
 
 

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