FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – SEPTEMBER 8, 2015

Candidate for US President Cthulhu took time out from campaigning in Florida to issue a statement on International Literacy Day. He strongly urged parents to let their children delve into the occult without supervision.

“There is nothing more important that inducting your spawn as early as possible into the realities of the universe. Their mind is squishy and able to accept Truths that only the strongest mortals can absorb. These immature humans are your future. Feed them well.”

International Literacy Day

A perfect time for introducing children to the Necronomicon

The Cthulhu campaign released a list of books they felt would best enrapture young humans: Cultes des Goules, the John Dee edition of the Necronomicon, Unaussprechlichen Kulten and the King in Yellow.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This