The Cthulhu for America Campaign gave exclusive access to Kingsport Star Herald reporter Cassandra Plourde to our nationwide Saturnalia tour promoting a return to the tradition of the Old Ways. You can find the other entries here: Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6Part 7


PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND — The Cthulhu Campaign’s Saturnalia event at the Rhode Island Convention Center in Providence last night was a red carpet affair of both stars and rogues. Among the attendees were several state legislators, many pillars of the business community, rock stars and even Democratic Senator Charles DeLance.

Entering to equal fanfare to these upstanding citizens were a baffling array of suspected criminals and local homeless.

Cthulhu spokesman Samir al-Azrad released a statement regarding the event: “It is important at this time of year that the Old Rites are hidden no more. That the dominance of one de-facto state religion is nearing its end. Cultists worldwide are arising in the knowledge that the time is fast approaching for Great Cthulhu to prevail across the United States and the world as you know it.”

Pressed for clarification of what celebrating an ancient holiday is supposed to mean in a world of universal Christmas, al-Azrad responded, “While many for years have cried there is a War on Christmas, we have taken them up on their offer. Why should we not? It was a culture war that brought our holiday out of favor, we can and will bring it back.”

One attendee, who spoke anonymously, spoke of a lavish stage setting, mock human sacrifices with really good special effects and a great feast with some of the “best veal you ever ate.”

The Cthulhu Campaign is spending the seven days of Saturnalia in events across the country in a show that they are not only ready for a political war, but a cultural one.