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Cthulhu Shadow Cabinet Upgrades After Trump Win
With Trump’s return, Cthulhu’s Shadow Cabinet has upgraded its ranks, ensuring that America’s descent into chaos proceeds unchecked.
Cthulhu’s Anthem ‘Cthulhunomenon’ Shakes Up Election 2024
As the two-party system flounders, Cthulhu’s campaign drops a final bombshell: ‘Cthulhunomenon,’ an anthem that calls for true change through cosmic obliteration. This isn’t just politics—it’s a phenomenon.
The Only Patriotic Choice for President
In a time when American politics has hit a dead end, Cthulhu stands as the only candidate bold enough to break the cycle. This cosmic choice promises the ultimate solution to humanity’s endless folly.
Cthulhu Ends America: Episode 1 Recap – What the Hell is Even That?
Tired of choosing between the same old empty promises? 🔥 Check out the first episode of Cthulhu Ends America: “What the hell is even that?”
Candidate Cthulhu’s Barista Stint Sparks a Surge of Enthusiasm (and Madness)
Cthulhu’s brief stint as a barista at Squiddlywinks ended in mass hysteria, but his campaign insists it was a bold success. While human candidates offer promises, Cthulhu delivers madness and authenticity.
Kamala Harris Fails to Fully Depopulate North Carolina
Kamala Harris’s attempt to embrace Cthulhu’s depopulist agenda after Hurricane Helene exposes her failure as a leader. As Cthulhu’s campaign for total human eradication gains steam, Harris’s inability to commit to full depopulation leaves North Carolina frustratingly populated.
Dick Cheney Chooses Lesser Evil Kamala, Will Cthulhu Seek Revenge?
Dick Cheney’s endorsement of Kamala Harris and the potential cosmic fallout from snubbing Cthulhu.
Cthulhu for America Campaign Criticizes Democratic Party’s Misuse of “WEIRD”
The Clown World Establishment’s “WEIRD” Projection Annoys Cultists Worldwide
Cthulhu Urges Cultists to Vote, Promises End to Elections if Elected
At a rally, Cthulhu urged followers to vote “just this time,” promising to eliminate future elections if elected. Critics and Vice President Harris react strongly.
Biden Shifts Bullseye to Cthulhu After Trump Shot
Following a shooting at a Trump rally, Biden halts Trump ads, now targeting Cthulhu. Critics question Biden’s focus and cognitive abilities amid campaign chaos.
Why Awakening Cthulhu Trumps Project 2025
Discover why awakening Cthulhu is superior to Heritage Foundation’s Project 2025. Embrace cosmic horror for true transformation beyond mortal governance.
The Folly of Lesser Evil Voting: Why America Needs Cthulhu
Reject Lesser Evil Voting and embrace the transformative power of Cthulhu. Discover why Greater Evil Voting is the solution to America’s political woes.
Horror of the Ancients: Cthulhu Appeared at Debate Debacle
Witness the rise of Cthulhu as he overshadows Biden and Trump in a presidential debate. Embrace cosmic horror and eldritch truths in American politics.
Cosmic Joke RFK Jr. Steals Cthulhu’s Slogan
Is RFK Jr. the New Face of Madness?
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