Cthulhu for America 2016 Presidential Campaign News Archive

Clinton book denounces Cthulhu

Clinton book denounces Cthulhu

A new leak from Clinton's upcoming revenge novel "What Happened?" details how third party candidate Cthulhu contributed to her electoral loss last year.
Cthulhu launches new political action group

Cthulhu launches new political action group

Cthulhu on Monday unveiled its new political action organization, Onward Together Hastening Eldritch Renascence (OTHERPAC), which will fundraise for countless cults nationwide.
Black Tentacles in the White House

Black Tentacles in the White House

Former comedian Stephen Colbert partially revealed the post-election machinations of Cthulhu last night on "The Late Show."
Inside Doomsday

Inside Doomsday

He is an idea, a world-theological archfiend, darkness itself.
Cthulhu is the only option

Cthulhu is the only option

FT chief editorial writer Robert Armstrong claimed that Cthulhu plans to "spare a few humans."
Cthulhu exposes Zombie Queen of Flies

Cthulhu exposes Zombie Queen of Flies

The election of Cthulhu is an event that we will welcome for its immense existential importance, and greet with indescribable relief.
Against Hillary Trump

Against Hillary Trump

The presidential candidate talks adolescent genocides, professional rivalries, and haunted crypt-island essentials.
Goodbye SMOD

Goodbye SMOD

The presidential candidate talks adolescent genocides, professional rivalries, and haunted crypt-island essentials.
The lesser evils are normalizing Cthulhu

The lesser evils are normalizing Cthulhu

A young woman sent Cthulhu this letter about how the media's over-the-top lesser evil-ism may have provided her mom a moment of clarity during this critical election.
How to watch the presidential debates

How to watch the presidential debates

America has lost the first presidential debate. There is no spinning it any other way. America saw two ego-maniacal candidates. Neither one is ready to be president.
How do you Cthulhu?

How do you Cthulhu?

Beretta Nova interviews Cthulhu campaign manager Eminence Waite as part of her Dread and Revulsion on the Campaign Trail '16 series
Kissinger remains loyal to Cthulhu

Kissinger remains loyal to Cthulhu

The Cthulhu campaign released a document showing that he fulfills the citizenship requirement to hold the office of President of the United States.
Volunteer for Cthulhu

Volunteer for Cthulhu

Cthulhu maintains his lead in the Miskatonic State University "Evil Index" despite heavy poaching by Clinton and continued Trump incompetence.
Meteor of Doom rejects Cthulhu ticket offer

Meteor of Doom rejects Cthulhu ticket offer

Unlike the earlier Republican and Democratic conventions, Elder Party cultists have a united vision entering their weekend of activism, political assassination and debauchery.
Just End It Already

Just End It Already

A young woman sent Cthulhu this letter about how the media's over-the-top lesser evil-ism may have provided her mom a moment of clarity during this critical election.
Dark Deeds at the DNC?

Dark Deeds at the DNC?

The follow up to the Clinton campaign's successful #NakedTrump stunt, #NakedCthulhu, has left the artist in need of professional care.
Cthulhu strikes back on Asteroid Day

Cthulhu strikes back on Asteroid Day

Chief Cthulhu rival and lesser evil, Hillary Clinton, is set to be interrogated by the FBI today at her Washingon, DC, residence.
Cthulhu in secret NASA talks?

Cthulhu in secret NASA talks?

PPP Polling reported that a generic "meteor" has a 13 percent share of the presidential election - neglecting to include the one, true candidate of doom - Cthulhu.
Cthulhu’s favorables spike in poll

Cthulhu’s favorables spike in poll

The follow up to the Clinton campaign's successful #NakedTrump stunt, #NakedCthulhu, has left the artist in need of professional care.
Desperate Obama endorses incredibly flawed Clinton

Desperate Obama endorses incredibly flawed Clinton

The secrecy of the meeting of approximately 160 of the most powerful men in the western world always leads to flights of conspiratorial fancy. However it's no theory that the Cthulhu campaign made their case to back him over Hillary Clinton to the world's elite.
Cthulhu pitches DNC rejected Sanders supporters

Cthulhu pitches DNC rejected Sanders supporters

Cthulhu on Monday unveiled its new political action organization, Onward Together Hastening Eldritch Renascence (OTHERPAC), which will fundraise for countless cults nationwide.
I, Cthulhu, do not endorse Donald Trump

I, Cthulhu, do not endorse Donald Trump

If you’ve been searching for the “cultist card” that our opponents say is the only reason Cthulhu holds more trust than they do, look no further.!
Kissing(er) Cthulhu

Kissing(er) Cthulhu

The follow up to the Clinton campaign's successful #NakedTrump stunt, #NakedCthulhu, has left the artist in need of professional care.
Eminence Shakes Up World Economic Forum

Eminence Shakes Up World Economic Forum

Cthulhu has been officially nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize, according to Henriette Aasen, Nobel watcher and director of the Peace Research Cooperative of Oslo.
I Have a Dream

I Have a Dream

Why we would cast our hypothetical vote for Cthulhu
High Tide for Final Saturnalia Celebration of 2015

High Tide for Final Saturnalia Celebration of 2015

The Cthulhu for America campaign was extremely disappointed to find that the flaccid Ted Cruz campaign was desperate enough to steal the fundraising text of a Rite to Arise PAC email that went out earlier in the week.
Colorado Rave Revives Cthulhu Youth Vote

Colorado Rave Revives Cthulhu Youth Vote

The Cthulhu for America campaign was extremely disappointed to find that the flaccid Ted Cruz campaign was desperate enough to steal the fundraising text of a Rite to Arise PAC email that went out earlier in the week.
Jupiter Cthulhu Event Marred by Domestic Terrorism

Jupiter Cthulhu Event Marred by Domestic Terrorism

The Cthulhu for America campaign was extremely disappointed to find that the flaccid Ted Cruz campaign was desperate enough to steal the fundraising text of a Rite to Arise PAC email that went out earlier in the week.
Presidential Candidate Cthulhu Declares War on Christmas

Presidential Candidate Cthulhu Declares War on Christmas

The Cthulhu for America campaign was extremely disappointed to find that the flaccid Ted Cruz campaign was desperate enough to steal the fundraising text of a Rite to Arise PAC email that went out earlier in the week.
The Republican Case for Cthulhu

The Republican Case for Cthulhu

The Cthulhu for America campaign was extremely disappointed to find that the flaccid Ted Cruz campaign was desperate enough to steal the fundraising text of a Rite to Arise PAC email that went out earlier in the week.
The Conservative Case for Cthulhu

The Conservative Case for Cthulhu

As President, Cthulhu will Call on everyone equally to serve their country with no favoritism to race, class or gender.
Religious Liberty Wins in Point Pleasant

Religious Liberty Wins in Point Pleasant

The Cthulhu for America campaign was extremely disappointed to find that the flaccid Ted Cruz campaign was desperate enough to steal the fundraising text of a Rite to Arise PAC email that went out earlier in the week.
All-Star Cultist Month: Week 4!

All-Star Cultist Month: Week 4!

Meet Acantha: a 12-year-old cultist who wants to grow up in a world where the cults of Cthulhu are given equal religious liberty.
All-Star Cultist Month: Week 3!

All-Star Cultist Month: Week 3!

The Cthulhu for America team closes our month-long celebration of our global network of dedicated cultists ready to do what needs be done to open the gates.
All-Star Cultist Month Continues!

All-Star Cultist Month Continues!

The Cthulhu for America team closes our month-long celebration of our global network of dedicated cultists ready to do what needs be done to open the gates.
October is All-Star Cultist Month

October is All-Star Cultist Month

The Cthulhu for America team closes our month-long celebration of our global network of dedicated cultists ready to do what needs be done to open the gates.
Voting for the Best Evil

Voting for the Best Evil

The Cthulhu for America team is celebrating our core cultist constituency throughout this sacred month.
Dagon In Deep; Out as Veep

Dagon In Deep; Out as Veep

The Cthulhu for America team is celebrating our core cultist constituency throughout this sacred month.