The follow up to the Clinton campaign’s successful #NakedTrump stunt, #NakedCthulhu, has left the artist in need of professional care.
Cthulhu cultists working at CERN successfully summoned the entity who will head Cthulhu’s presidential transition team.
Cthulhu has chosen Outer God Nyarlathotep, the Crawling Chaos, to be his running mate, adding the chaotic force to the Elder Party-supported ticket, he announced Saturday.
Unlike the earlier Republican and Democratic conventions, Elder Party cultists have a united vision entering their weekend of activism, political assassination and debauchery.
Cthulhu is not “often confused,” physically ill, or puts his foot into his maw daily. Cthulhu is a timeless entity outside space and time. What greater honor than to end at the claw and tentacle of a superior being?
Cthulhu is a true leader who has no need to deceive Americans to vote for him. There will be no left or right pivots. There will be no vague statements on an issue. There will be no hidden agendas after the election.
Cthulhu does not focus on in the failures of humanity. Instead he offers a complete, holistic solution to the problems everyday Americans face. Issues solved by annihilation of the human race.
President Cthulhu will break all species and gender barriers. President Cthulhu will break all economic, social, and security barriers. Greatest of all, President Cthulhu will break the barriers of reality.
Show Your Support with Pride
The Supporter Tee$23.00
Retro Series: Cthulhu 2016 No Lives Matter$23.00–$26.00
The Official “Cultist Card”Free!
Vote Best Evil Coffee Mug$20.00–$25.00
The Signature T-Shirt$23.00
The Cultist All Star Tee$23.00–$26.00
Classic Innsmouth Crewneck$23.00
Cthulhu 2016 No Lives Matter Zip Hoodie$55.00–$57.00
Official Cthulhu Make America Hate Again Cap$28.00
The Partisan Chant Tee$36.00
The Aunt Keziah Tee$23.00
Future Voter Onesie$23.00
“I’m running for president because everyday Americans and their spawn need a demagogue and I want to be that demagogue. I want families to do more than just get by — I want you to get a head and consume it for nourishment.”Cthulhu