An exclusive inside look at the Cthulhu campaign on Election Day. Or, as they call it, Summoning Day.
Read these heartfelt letters from Democrats and Republicans who are voting country over party to support Cthulhu.
“I have no trust in the two-party system.”
Four days to the election and the collective human hive is abuzz with the revelation of Clinton campaign’s connection to satanic rituals. Does this hurt Cthulhu’s chances?
Cthulhu is not “often confused,” physically ill, or puts his foot into his maw daily. Cthulhu is a timeless entity outside space and time. What greater honor than to end at the claw and tentacle of a superior being?
Cthulhu is a true leader who has no need to deceive Americans to vote for him. There will be no left or right pivots. There will be no vague statements on an issue. There will be no hidden agendas after the election.
Cthulhu does not focus on in the failures of humanity. Instead he offers a complete, holistic solution to the problems everyday Americans face. Issues solved by annihilation of the human race.
President Cthulhu will break all species and gender barriers. President Cthulhu will break all economic, social, and security barriers. Greatest of all, President Cthulhu will break the barriers of reality.
Show Your Support with Pride
The Supporter Tee$23.00
The Official “Cultist Card”Free!
Vote Best Evil Coffee Mug$20.00–$25.00
The Signature T-Shirt$23.00–$25.00
The Cultist All Star Tee$23.00–$25.00
Classic Innsmouth Crewneck$23.00
Official Cthulhu Make America Hate Again Cap$28.00
Cthulhu 2016 No Lives Matter Zip Hoodie$55.00–$57.00
The Partisan Chant Tee$36.00
Future Voter Onesie$23.00
The Aunt Keziah Tee$23.00
The Supporter Hoodie$47.00–$48.00
“I’m running for president because everyday Americans and their spawn need a demagogue and I want to be that demagogue. I want families to do more than just get by — I want you to get a head and consume it for nourishment.”Cthulhu