As usual, the Democrats and Republicans are afraid of challengers to the establishment duopoly and have excluded Cthulhu from the event.
Much is said about millennials by my opponents. We say something far different.
The Cthulhu campaign released a document showing that he fulfills the citizenship requirement to hold the office of President of the United States.
Cthulhu is not “often confused,” physically ill, or puts his foot into his maw daily. Cthulhu is a timeless entity outside space and time. What greater honor than to end at the claw and tentacle of a superior being?
Cthulhu is a true leader who has no need to deceive Americans to vote for him. There will be no left or right pivots. There will be no vague statements on an issue. There will be no hidden agendas after the election.
Cthulhu does not focus on in the failures of humanity. Instead he offers a complete, holistic solution to the problems everyday Americans face. Issues solved by annihilation of the human race.
President Cthulhu will break all species and gender barriers. President Cthulhu will break all economic, social, and security barriers. Greatest of all, President Cthulhu will break the barriers of reality.
Show Your Support with Pride
The Supporter Tee$23.00
Retro Series: Cthulhu 2016 No Lives Matter$23.00–$26.00
The Official “Cultist Card”Free!
Vote Best Evil Coffee Mug$20.00–$25.00
The Signature T-Shirt$23.00
The Cultist All Star Tee$23.00–$26.00
Classic Innsmouth Crewneck$23.00
Cthulhu 2016 No Lives Matter Zip Hoodie$55.00–$57.00
Official Cthulhu Make America Hate Again Cap$28.00
The Partisan Chant Tee$36.00
The Aunt Keziah Tee$23.00
Future Voter Onesie$23.00
“I’m running for president because everyday Americans and their spawn need a demagogue and I want to be that demagogue. I want families to do more than just get by — I want you to get a head and consume it for nourishment.”Cthulhu