It’s an easy call: Cthulhu for president

With our nation facing political rot on the inside and barbarians at the gates, now is no time for sophistry. It is time for America to acknowledge this dead end path and place the noose squarely around her neck.

Weekly Evil Index

provided by MSUCOM

  • Cthulhu 54%
  • Hillary 28%
  • Trump 18%


Cthulhu is not “often confused,” physically ill, or puts his foot into his maw daily. Cthulhu is a timeless entity outside space and time. What greater honor than to end at the claw and tentacle of a superior being?


Cthulhu is a true leader who has no need to deceive Americans to vote for him. There will be no left or right pivots. There will be no vague statements on an issue. There will be no hidden agendas after the election.


Cthulhu does not focus on in the failures of humanity. Instead he offers a complete, holistic solution to the problems everyday Americans face. Issues solved by annihilation of the human race.

Breaking Barriers

President Cthulhu will break all species and gender barriers. President Cthulhu will break all economic, social, and security barriers. Greatest of all, President Cthulhu will break the barriers of reality.

“I’m running for president because everyday Americans and their spawn need a demagogue and I want to be that demagogue. I want families to do more than just get by — I want you to get a head and consume it for nourishment.”


August 24, 2015

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